These questions have made their way around the PF blogosphere lately and in full disclosure here is where they came from. First, Chase (the credit card company) published a survey with the results to these 8 questions. Dinks Finance published the results and then J Money answered the questions for himself! Now I’m answering them and asking you to do the same, either in the comments or on your own blog!
1. Would you discuss money on the first date?
Probably not, I’d be more interested in the person. If it came up I wouldn’t have any objection to talking about it but I wouldn’t talk about things like my salary. Luckily I won’t be dating anymore because we’re engaged!
2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
Until you’re ready. I think this is different for each couple. Now… if they are already your spouse it is way too late. It should be before things get fairly serious. There is no point wasting someone’s time if you both are financially incompatible because that can be a deal breaker for some people.
3. Who always brings up money in your relationship?
I bring it up most of the time but my fiancee brings it up a fair amount too. I’d say it is probably a 60/40 or 67/33 me/her ratio.
4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single?
It is since we aren’t married yet and we currently keep everything separate. Once we get married though we’ll be combining accounts and things will hopefully be easier again.
5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
I am! I will be helping her pay down her student loans after we get married. This should definitely help her student loans disappear much faster.
6. Is debt a deal breaker?
It would be if it was massive credit card debt, but my fiancee started with 80k in student loans and has it down below 60k after 1.5 years… so she is making good progress. Obviously it is not a deal breaker for me as we’re getting married.
7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
I do. You can have varying degrees of the views, but in general if your money styles are similar you’ll fight a lot less about money.
8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
They have to be willing to change but you can help them get there if they want it I think. If they don’t want to change I don’t think you can change anyone.
There you have it! My answers to the eight questions. Now it is your turn! Answer these 8 questions in the comments below! I’ve copied just the questions below in case you want to copy them into your comment!
1. Would you discuss money on the first date?
2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
3. Who always brings up money in your relationship?
4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single?
5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
6. Is debt a deal breaker?
7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
An accountant by day and blogger by night, Lance is the owner of this site. 
Having similar values including money is very important! It is necessary to have a unified effort to reach goals. I am not suggesting to follow blindly, but to agree on a plan for the future. Marriage is very much a partnership where you are taking 2 individuals together to act as one. All the questions must be resolved to reach this goal or outcome. Timing may be different for everyone.
krantcents recently posted..Stop the Budget Insanity!
Timing definitely is different for everyone.
1. Would you discuss money on the first date?
No-but depends on the situation, if they brought it up I’d be happy to indulge.
2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
If they were my spouse, I’d hope we’d be talking about it from way before we got engaged and got married.
3. Who always brings up money in your relationship?
Me-I’m the nerd, but bf doesn’t mind.
4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single?
We don’t technically combine finances yet because we’re not married.
5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
If bf had debt and we were married (I guess that would make him the spouse lol) we would pay off the debt together.
6. Is debt a deal breaker?
No, but desire to pay it off and not go back into debt is important.
7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
Yes, yes yes-this one was easy. My parents divorced (in part) because of money.
8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
No, but he/she can
KK @ Student Debt Survivor recently posted..My Spending Life Stages
Sounds like we have common beliefs with these survey questions
1. Would you discuss money on the first date? Not sure…
2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse? When it naturally comes up (which IMO would be quite early)
3. Who always brings up money in your relationship? Me!
4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single? Hell yes.
5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt? Joint effort, but I wouldn’t wipe his debt clear and free for nothing.
6. Is debt a deal breaker? Not necessarily.
7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views? I think a saver and spender can still get along, as long as your core priorities are aligned.
8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money? It’s gotta come from the person, so YOU can’t change someone else, but again it can be a joint effort.
eemusings recently posted..Adventures in the kitchen: The blueberry edition
Sounds like we have some pretty similar beliefs as well. Did you check to see if your beliefs were in the majority based on the survey at Dinks Finances?
I would hope people were not waiting until they were married to bring up money! For sure you wan’t to have the same “values” about money. If you don’t that’s a red flag. I also can’t imagine anyone bringing up money on a first date. awkward!
Budget and the Beach recently posted..Link Love/Week in Review 3/17/13
I do think the first date would be a bit awkward unless something randomly popped up that made a certain topic seem in the flow of the conversation.
We recently celebrated our 40th anniversary, so my comments might be a bit speculative on the dating thing, but here goes:
1. First date: No, it’s a moot point if the relationship goes nowhere.
2. How long? I think you find out soon enough by observing what she wears, drives, eats, etc. as well as the comments she makes (entitlement vs. have to earn it)
3. The one running the budget brings it up first. It used to be my wife, but since we retired, she likes the structure of a job so she works and I run the budget. After living together so long, there usually isn’t much to talk about, because we can pretty much speak for the other.
4. It may be harder because no two people are alike, but it’s much nicer!
5. For us that was a moot point because we married young and didn’t have any debt. (In my case it was because I couldn’t qualify for any — talk about a blessing in disguise! LOL)
6. Like you, debt per se isn’t a deal breaker. However, the propensity/desire to get into debt (“I HAVE to be driving a Navigator!”) would be. We know a couple who got married recently where that is an issue which may end up breaking the deal…
7. Absolutely. However, I believe money is but a part of a total life outlook. If you’re going to live with somebody for the rest of your life, this is as important as they come.
8. Yes. Early in our marriage I once cut up my wife’s credit card because she was reckless with it. We laugh abut it now, but at the time it was a big deal. Her father also taught me several things I needed to hear, and which changed my money views, so we’ve seen changes in both of us. That said, if either party is stubborn and not tactful, this can cause multiple big blowups… including The Big One.
William @ Bite the Bullet recently posted..Are You An Investor?
Thanks for dropping by and answering the questions William!